Stuck in the moment
Of seeing your face.
Wrinkles on your nose.
So self inviting
Light in your eyes
Gazing through my Universe.
I open my gates,
I am wide open.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Welcome to Tijuana
Am I waiting
Or just spending time?
Distant memories
Welcome to Tijuana.
Like two coyotes,
Persistent tricksters,
I like unpredictability
I like the misery.
Unspoken language,
Erect barb-wired border,
Bitter coffee for Saturday brunch.
Coins in the ocean
Breaking the waves away.
Or just spending time?
Distant memories
Welcome to Tijuana.
Like two coyotes,
Persistent tricksters,
I like unpredictability
I like the misery.
Unspoken language,
Erect barb-wired border,
Bitter coffee for Saturday brunch.
Coins in the ocean
Breaking the waves away.
Mine
What am I looking for
Holding on to memories
Precious moments
Of self-discovery.
Which one is the rose
And which one is the snake?
One stays, one leads -
Am I the follower?
Settled in my solitude
I don’t wait for anything
I move, I swallow
Hollow pride.
Embrace:
Courage,
Curiosity and
Peace
Nothing left to loose
Thorn between two sides
I know where happiness would be
I know where it is
Within me, it’s mine
For me, me, me, me.
Holding on to memories
Precious moments
Of self-discovery.
Which one is the rose
And which one is the snake?
One stays, one leads -
Am I the follower?
Settled in my solitude
I don’t wait for anything
I move, I swallow
Hollow pride.
Embrace:
Courage,
Curiosity and
Peace
Nothing left to loose
Thorn between two sides
I know where happiness would be
I know where it is
Within me, it’s mine
For me, me, me, me.
Fallen Angel
Release anger
Just keep letting go
Requested freedom,
Maybe or not,
Struggling with doubt
Me is all I’ve got.
Fear, fear!
I feel it
I know it
I’ve been hurt
Before
Many times.
Like a child with a nanny,
Lost virginity after the first cry,
Fallen angel,
No injuries.
Just keep letting go
Requested freedom,
Maybe or not,
Struggling with doubt
Me is all I’ve got.
Fear, fear!
I feel it
I know it
I’ve been hurt
Before
Many times.
Like a child with a nanny,
Lost virginity after the first cry,
Fallen angel,
No injuries.
Together
I stand myself tall,
Right below your eyes,
Can you smell my presence,
The scent of independence,
Is that blessing in disguise?
We walk this part of journey,
Keep believing
Both of us together
It can’t be so deceiving.
I am not afraid,
I am not afraid,
You whisper from the distance.
I love you for being afraid.
Keep on believing,
Both of us together
It can’t be so deceiving,
Marbles in my pocket.
Right below your eyes,
Can you smell my presence,
The scent of independence,
Is that blessing in disguise?
We walk this part of journey,
Keep believing
Both of us together
It can’t be so deceiving.
I am not afraid,
I am not afraid,
You whisper from the distance.
I love you for being afraid.
Keep on believing,
Both of us together
It can’t be so deceiving,
Marbles in my pocket.
How does it feel
To be trapped within the walls?
Memories engraved
In dusty corners
Of solitude and pain.
I am here for you.
Distance counts hours
Lost pounds and few coins
But so much that is gained.
Your presence, your beauty,
Immortality of the warrior’s soul living.
Somewhere deep in the desert
A sacred scroll and a treasure chest.
To be trapped within the walls?
Memories engraved
In dusty corners
Of solitude and pain.
I am here for you.
Distance counts hours
Lost pounds and few coins
But so much that is gained.
Your presence, your beauty,
Immortality of the warrior’s soul living.
Somewhere deep in the desert
A sacred scroll and a treasure chest.
At the Border
You are waiting for me
On the hills of starry Tijuana
Kneeling by the altar
Prayer whispered through the night.
Candle lit by a wish
Hope is all we’ve got
Mask is hiding no secrets
Disguise for a limited thought.
No names, no titles
I honor you, I worship you
Take the bull by it’s horns.
On the hills of starry Tijuana
Kneeling by the altar
Prayer whispered through the night.
Candle lit by a wish
Hope is all we’ve got
Mask is hiding no secrets
Disguise for a limited thought.
No names, no titles
I honor you, I worship you
Take the bull by it’s horns.
A Perfect Cup of Tea
Conscious attention
The courtyard of my soul,
Acquires
Peace and Happiness,
Joy above all,
Dissolve constricted thought.
Purified Mind
Fulfills the Well-Being,
Self-proclaimed prophecy.
To do so one is wise.
The courtyard of my soul,
Acquires
Peace and Happiness,
Joy above all,
Dissolve constricted thought.
Purified Mind
Fulfills the Well-Being,
Self-proclaimed prophecy.
To do so one is wise.
Time
Funny enough
I choose
Old pastimes
To burry the time -
It drags violently
Like a snake
Around my wrist.
I choose
Old pastimes
To burry the time -
It drags violently
Like a snake
Around my wrist.
Separate
Abandoned
Left alone
This too shall pass.
Ruthless
Both of us
Just suddenly cold
So distant and
Forgotten.
I give myself permission
To grieve one day
And another if it takes
Common sense, really.
No other purpose,
Just safe.
Left alone
This too shall pass.
Ruthless
Both of us
Just suddenly cold
So distant and
Forgotten.
I give myself permission
To grieve one day
And another if it takes
Common sense, really.
No other purpose,
Just safe.
Prediction
Self-proclaimed victim
Tears ready to roll
Well trained
Fragile,
Naïve above all.
Heading for the fall… How do I know?
Who am I to say
Maybe, always, never
Stings forevermore
Tears ready to roll
Well trained
Fragile,
Naïve above all.
Heading for the fall… How do I know?
Who am I to say
Maybe, always, never
Stings forevermore
Early Morning
Keep still
And quiet.
Invisible.
Like in a dream, rather -
The forgotten one.
Dissolved in a dew drop
On a dirty basement window
And quiet.
Invisible.
Like in a dream, rather -
The forgotten one.
Dissolved in a dew drop
On a dirty basement window
The Ring
I bought a ring
For myself
Divorced and wedded in the same day.
Misprojections
Deleted messages
Rivers of anger
Required acceptance.
Such a quick response
I ache.
I hurt.
I took the red pill
No going back.
Deep breath
At the end of the tunnel.
For myself
Divorced and wedded in the same day.
Misprojections
Deleted messages
Rivers of anger
Required acceptance.
Such a quick response
I ache.
I hurt.
I took the red pill
No going back.
Deep breath
At the end of the tunnel.
The Desert
Ego is strong
Keeps demanding,
Persistent beast.
I am surprised
I grieve,
Withdraw.
Vulnerable.
No regret
Stuckness rather it is.
Mind and Body
Trapped in a time machine.
Old spaces, patterns and puzzles
Unresolved.
Victims of personal convictions
Separate directions to follow
A faint memory warns
Storms are coming.
Like an experienced Bedouin
I observe the desert.
Young warriors run into a trap.
Keeps demanding,
Persistent beast.
I am surprised
I grieve,
Withdraw.
Vulnerable.
No regret
Stuckness rather it is.
Mind and Body
Trapped in a time machine.
Old spaces, patterns and puzzles
Unresolved.
Victims of personal convictions
Separate directions to follow
A faint memory warns
Storms are coming.
Like an experienced Bedouin
I observe the desert.
Young warriors run into a trap.
Lost Horizon
Families separate by war
Desire to live
Find the Future Hill
Lost identities
Faced by lost horizons
New generations
Finding the roots.
Sadness in their eyes
Burdened by history
Can it be disguised
By a financial victory.
Hurt by lost homes
Language forgotten
Hanging in between
Silence and anger
Different nations,
Different to me.
I was healed
Somewhere near the
Future Hill
Desire to live
Find the Future Hill
Lost identities
Faced by lost horizons
New generations
Finding the roots.
Sadness in their eyes
Burdened by history
Can it be disguised
By a financial victory.
Hurt by lost homes
Language forgotten
Hanging in between
Silence and anger
Different nations,
Different to me.
I was healed
Somewhere near the
Future Hill
Into the Deep
Harvested vaginal juices
Stretched between my fingers
Smell of ancient oceans
Hiding the secrets
Behind the daemon's
Third eye.
I capture the moment
Unrecorded
When you trembled
Screamed
Moaned
I had you over and over again
Diving deeper into the Deep.
Uninterrupted .
Stretched between my fingers
Smell of ancient oceans
Hiding the secrets
Behind the daemon's
Third eye.
I capture the moment
Unrecorded
When you trembled
Screamed
Moaned
I had you over and over again
Diving deeper into the Deep.
Uninterrupted .
Untitled
Promises and whispers of love
Secluded by the raising sun
Dogs abandoned
Loyalty defeated
Unconsciously exchanged cups
With cold tea
Old story
Secluded by the raising sun
Dogs abandoned
Loyalty defeated
Unconsciously exchanged cups
With cold tea
Old story
On the Rock
You are two extremes
United in separate bodies
Like a space-time continuum
Dizzy already
I require,
I demand
To know while
Storm blocks the view
Dark clouds bring the thunder
Universal sparkle connects
Yin and Yang -
Lightning.
Blinded by the vision
Attracted so it hurts
I ask for help
My angels and spirits
Protectors of my humble home,
Queendome built
On a single rock.
Shaken out of balance
It swings.
United in separate bodies
Like a space-time continuum
Dizzy already
I require,
I demand
To know while
Storm blocks the view
Dark clouds bring the thunder
Universal sparkle connects
Yin and Yang -
Lightning.
Blinded by the vision
Attracted so it hurts
I ask for help
My angels and spirits
Protectors of my humble home,
Queendome built
On a single rock.
Shaken out of balance
It swings.
Stereotypes
Undefined
Accepted
Recognized
Projected
Name them
And they are
Yours
For freedom
Best to
Ignore
Not mine,
Not me
Not now
Untied knot
Accepted
Recognized
Projected
Name them
And they are
Yours
For freedom
Best to
Ignore
Not mine,
Not me
Not now
Untied knot
Silence
Will she come
Looking for me
Sleepy and dazed
Giving herself permission
To be confused
No waiting
No expectations
Bad spirits are chased away
Afraid of the sound
Silence is bound to be broken
Looking for me
Sleepy and dazed
Giving herself permission
To be confused
No waiting
No expectations
Bad spirits are chased away
Afraid of the sound
Silence is bound to be broken
The Power of Three
You look at me while we kiss
And make love
Twisted in exchange
Of pulping veins
Surprised with sighs
Cold snake eyes
And scorpion tail
Bent high
Offering love
I am reminded
Of risks I have taken
Willingly
Knowingly
Predestined in a recognition
Of offered magic of three
In the name of the
Ghost, Holy Snake and a Spirit
New found religion
Lost under the red star
And make love
Twisted in exchange
Of pulping veins
Surprised with sighs
Cold snake eyes
And scorpion tail
Bent high
Offering love
I am reminded
Of risks I have taken
Willingly
Knowingly
Predestined in a recognition
Of offered magic of three
In the name of the
Ghost, Holy Snake and a Spirit
New found religion
Lost under the red star
Roar
There is this
Vicious side in me
Bringing about
A new face.
Scary, unrelaxed,
Focused
Transformed
Into the spiritual healing
Injured
But despite,
Even when I die
I know I lived,
I am alive.
Vicious side in me
Bringing about
A new face.
Scary, unrelaxed,
Focused
Transformed
Into the spiritual healing
Injured
But despite,
Even when I die
I know I lived,
I am alive.
Memory
Reminded of childhood
Star gazing
All through the night
Radio Penguin
Shyly inspired
By curious mind
And inactive body
Soul likes to time-travel.
I fantasize a dream world
Of flawless Natural Law
Giggling it’s way gently
Who would say that is so?
Law of Attraction
The Secret
Ask and it is given
Radio all through the night
Star gazing
All through the night
Radio Penguin
Shyly inspired
By curious mind
And inactive body
Soul likes to time-travel.
I fantasize a dream world
Of flawless Natural Law
Giggling it’s way gently
Who would say that is so?
Law of Attraction
The Secret
Ask and it is given
Radio all through the night
Return of the Raven
Raven dropped by just for a visit
It caws gently
Picking through the indigo feathers
Night responds magically
Twinkles spread out evenly
Faster than light
“You’ve been away?”
Caw
Dalida Turkovic, all rights reserved 2008
It caws gently
Picking through the indigo feathers
Night responds magically
Twinkles spread out evenly
Faster than light
“You’ve been away?”
Caw
Dalida Turkovic, all rights reserved 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
What happened?
I am separating from a 7 year long relationship. Ego is in control full time, I feel all is my responsibility but it is not. God knows I have tried and looking back maybe I have tried a bit too much. When is it a moment to realize that partner adjusting to another one means they are not living their life? Some people are born to lead, some are born to follow, it is so easy to get lost in roles and responsibilities - given or willingly taken.
I have been through this before, I remember a moment when I just looked myself in the mirror and said: you will not cry for this, nobody will make you cry! I am older and more mature now, I want to cry, I want to let myself go and feel the emotions. I am ready to move on. I want to forget tho, how does one forget? Through forgiveness: I forgive myself for believing that our bond was impeccable, bomb proof and solid beyond measures, I forgive myself for being naive and thinking Scorpio was tamed, I forgive myself for neglecting anything that mattered just a day before and taking risk that makes me look back and think: it was worth it!
We opened relationship on our demand, it didn't work, it never would with me. I am so territorial.
Dogs and me at home, one soul less, soon new tenants will be moving in.
I have been through this before, I remember a moment when I just looked myself in the mirror and said: you will not cry for this, nobody will make you cry! I am older and more mature now, I want to cry, I want to let myself go and feel the emotions. I am ready to move on. I want to forget tho, how does one forget? Through forgiveness: I forgive myself for believing that our bond was impeccable, bomb proof and solid beyond measures, I forgive myself for being naive and thinking Scorpio was tamed, I forgive myself for neglecting anything that mattered just a day before and taking risk that makes me look back and think: it was worth it!
We opened relationship on our demand, it didn't work, it never would with me. I am so territorial.
Dogs and me at home, one soul less, soon new tenants will be moving in.
Transition
I bury you with broken promises.
Eagle soaring and Fox running through the fields,
Two dead rats and fireworks for a festival,
Gods on both sides, guarding the door.
Father in a comma, grandfather with a wounded soul
Finding lost traces, tragedy of the war.
That is how we connected,
No expectations at all
Only moment by moment
Following the Natural Law
Name of a Lake, fire in disguise,
You taught me about loving
Passion without boundaries
Standing tall, bathing in beauty.
Like heat in the amethyst cave
Releasing, Relaxing, Reflecting
Eagle soaring and Fox running through the fields,
Two dead rats and fireworks for a festival,
Gods on both sides, guarding the door.
Father in a comma, grandfather with a wounded soul
Finding lost traces, tragedy of the war.
That is how we connected,
No expectations at all
Only moment by moment
Following the Natural Law
Name of a Lake, fire in disguise,
You taught me about loving
Passion without boundaries
Standing tall, bathing in beauty.
Like heat in the amethyst cave
Releasing, Relaxing, Reflecting
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