Movies
But I'm a Cheerleader
Desert At Hearts
If These Walls Could Talk 2
Better Than Chocolate
Chinese Botanist's Daughter
Bound
Series
Portrait of a Marriage
Fingersmith
L Word
Books (first and only books I read, recommend with delight)
Fingersmith, Sarah Waters
Tipping the Velvet, Sarah Waters
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Lala goodies
K came back from Canada and brought so many Lala goodies... Magazines, newspapers, DVDs. I love reading Curve magazine, it gives insight on the bright side of out-and-proud lifestyle. Just before I started writing Lala Diaries both K and I made a wish to be more in touch with current Lala world and create one in Beijing (apart from two of us :)). First Sarah Waters was introduced with her amazing Fingersmith and Tipping the Velvet - mesmerizing!
Last week N&K gave us bunch of Lala movies to watch. I was so excited to see Portrait of a Marriage, the story of relationship between feminist writer Vita Sackville-West (Janet McTeer) and novelist Violet Keppel (Cathryn Harrison). Seeing the cover of the DVD took me back to time when the series were shown on Belgrade TV. How inspiring! Thinking back I realize how open-minded Yugoslavia was then despite the fact of being labeled as homophobic (by me, by others - media, individuals etc.). Back in 1993 I recorded the whole series on VCR and watched scenes that expressed how I felt deep inside still not knowing what was exactly going on with my mind, body and soul.
Can't you realize a little?...Oh, how to put it into words?... It isn't that I don't love you. I do, I do, you'll never know how much! But you're good and sweet and you're teh person that I love in the best and simplest way. But there's a lot in me that isn't good and simple. It's that side in me that says:
"Well," it says, " Why should I break my heart simply because I'm his wife? It's only because of scandal and inconvenience, really."
So I fish and I fish and sometimes I catch a lovely little silver trout, but never that great salmon that lashes and fights and convinces me that it's fighting for its life!
Vita Sackville-West talking to her husband Harold Nicolson about her love for Violet Keppel
Sometimes I wonder if I loved this scene so much that I decided to live the same life. It seems so long ago and I am glad I changed the ending of my reality and let salmon live free life.
Last week N&K gave us bunch of Lala movies to watch. I was so excited to see Portrait of a Marriage, the story of relationship between feminist writer Vita Sackville-West (Janet McTeer) and novelist Violet Keppel (Cathryn Harrison). Seeing the cover of the DVD took me back to time when the series were shown on Belgrade TV. How inspiring! Thinking back I realize how open-minded Yugoslavia was then despite the fact of being labeled as homophobic (by me, by others - media, individuals etc.). Back in 1993 I recorded the whole series on VCR and watched scenes that expressed how I felt deep inside still not knowing what was exactly going on with my mind, body and soul.
Can't you realize a little?...Oh, how to put it into words?... It isn't that I don't love you. I do, I do, you'll never know how much! But you're good and sweet and you're teh person that I love in the best and simplest way. But there's a lot in me that isn't good and simple. It's that side in me that says:
"Well," it says, " Why should I break my heart simply because I'm his wife? It's only because of scandal and inconvenience, really."
So I fish and I fish and sometimes I catch a lovely little silver trout, but never that great salmon that lashes and fights and convinces me that it's fighting for its life!
Vita Sackville-West talking to her husband Harold Nicolson about her love for Violet Keppel
Sometimes I wonder if I loved this scene so much that I decided to live the same life. It seems so long ago and I am glad I changed the ending of my reality and let salmon live free life.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Sunday Afternoon
There was a moment I remembered comments that stem from the School of Common Knowledge: being gay is a rough path to follow and there is immediate application to suffering and discrimination. Yesterday I looked around myself and saw totally opposite: inspiring Lalas having fun, fulfilled and mellow - HAPPY! We gathered on our balcony, had BBQ, opened few bottles of sparkling wine, played mahjong.
May there be many more Sundays like this!
After all, I believe, life is as tragic as we make it and who can guarantee quality of anybody's life based only on their sexuality. If you for just a moment read the following questionnaire as if you are a heterosexual, does it make sense? Equally, if you were ever asked similar questions regarding your homosexuality use the same questionnaire to challenge the challenger and have fun.
HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONNAIRE
(©1972, Martin Rochlin, Ph.D. Reprinted with permission from the author.)
This questionnaire is for self-avowed heterosexuals only. If you are not openly heterosexual, pass it on to a friend who is. Please try to answer the questions as candidly as possible. Your responses will be held in strict confidence and your anonymity fully protected.
1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
5. If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, how can you be sure you wouldn't prefer that?
6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?
8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they'd face?
10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?
11. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?
14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?
15. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?
16. With the sexually segregated living conditions of military life, isn't heterosexuality incompatible with military service?
17. How can you enjoy an emotionally fulfilling experience with a person of the other sex when there are such vast differences between you? How can a man know what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?
18. Shouldn't you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn't that improve your image?
19. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?
20. Why do you attribute heterosexuality to so many famous lesbian and gay people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?
21. How can you hope to actualize your God-given homosexual potential if you limit yourself to exclusive, compulsive heterosexuality?
22. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be a heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?
May there be many more Sundays like this!
After all, I believe, life is as tragic as we make it and who can guarantee quality of anybody's life based only on their sexuality. If you for just a moment read the following questionnaire as if you are a heterosexual, does it make sense? Equally, if you were ever asked similar questions regarding your homosexuality use the same questionnaire to challenge the challenger and have fun.
HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONNAIRE
(©1972, Martin Rochlin, Ph.D. Reprinted with permission from the author.)
This questionnaire is for self-avowed heterosexuals only. If you are not openly heterosexual, pass it on to a friend who is. Please try to answer the questions as candidly as possible. Your responses will be held in strict confidence and your anonymity fully protected.
1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
5. If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, how can you be sure you wouldn't prefer that?
6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?
8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they'd face?
10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?
11. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?
14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?
15. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?
16. With the sexually segregated living conditions of military life, isn't heterosexuality incompatible with military service?
17. How can you enjoy an emotionally fulfilling experience with a person of the other sex when there are such vast differences between you? How can a man know what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?
18. Shouldn't you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn't that improve your image?
19. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?
20. Why do you attribute heterosexuality to so many famous lesbian and gay people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?
21. How can you hope to actualize your God-given homosexual potential if you limit yourself to exclusive, compulsive heterosexuality?
22. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be a heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?
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